Do you ever feel like you get in a recovery funk? This happens to me now and then. I think to myself, "I should be better by now" or "Why am I still struggling even after all these years?" I also sometimes think, "man, I don't think I will ever fully recover." These thoughts can bring me down and cause me to feel upset.
I found that it is helpful to remind myself of all the reasons why eating disorder recovery is worth it. I invite you all to make a list too. It does not have to be from eating disorder recovery; It can be from anything you are struggling with right now.
Why eating disorder recovery is worth it...
1) HAPPINESS
I feel like this one is self-explanatory. I am happy most days, but there are many days
where I am incredibly unhappy and that is because of my eating disorder.
2) FREEDOM
Again, this is self-explanatory. Once I am in eating disorder recovery, I will have freedom from
it.
3) The ability to go out with friends/family without feeling upset over my body
There are plenty of times where I get anxious and do not want to go out with friends and
family because of what my body looks like. The eating disorder tells me that my friends/family
are going to judge me for the size of my body. When in reality, I know that they love me for me
and not my body. Sometimes my poor body image can make me feel so anxious that I decided
not to follow through on plans. Recovery would mean having a better body image and not
cancel plans because of my body.
4) The ability to go out to social situations without feeling anxious about food
This one is similar to reason number 3. If I know that a social situation has food, I often feel
very anxious. I get anxious for a few reasons. 1) not wanting to eat before going, 2) not wanting
to eat too much at the event, 3) eating more than others during the event, 4) not having a
good time because I am so anxious about the food. Eating disorder recovery would mean this
anxiety won't be as strong, and I can enjoy the event without being so consumed with the
food.
5) Less GI issues
I already have IBS, but my eating disorder makes it much worse. When I binge, my GI
symptoms act up horribly. Being in eating disorder recovery would mean I would have fewer GI
symptoms.
6) To have a better relationship with my body
I do not have a positive relationship with my body. This causes issues as I mentioned in
reason number 4. This also causes me to have other issues within my personal life because I
am so aware of my body and the things that I hate about it. Recovery would bring me body
neutrality.
7) The ability to eat what I want when I want
I am still learning to listen to my body. It is important to listen to our bodies because it tells
you what it wants and needs. However, I am still restoring this relationship. I often do not
know that I am hungry until I am uncomfortably hungry, and I do not know that I am full until I
am uncomfortably full. My body is still learning to trust me, and I am still learning how to listen
to my body. I am slowly gaining my hunger cues, back but full recovery will give me those cues
back.
8) Having self-love/ self-worth that is beyond food and what my body looks like
My eating disorder constantly tells me that I am not good enough. My eating disorder tells me
that my worth is defined around how small I am and how much space I take up in this world.
My eating disorder tells me that the number on the scale and the size of my jeans are what
defines my worth. Recovery will give me the ability to fully believe that my worth and my body
size is not the same. I am not defined by how much space I take up or what the size of my
jeans is.
9) To strengthen my relationships
My eating disorder has gotten in the way of my relationships. My eating disorder causes me to
lie to my loved ones about the behaviors I have engaged in. This causes my loved ones to not
have full trust in me. My eating disorder gets in the way of me going out to social events as I l
listed above. Recovery will allow me to strengthen my relationships.
10) Gain more energy
I am constantly exhausted. This is because I am having a constant battle in my head between
my eating disorder and myself. I am constantly obsessing about food or my body. And let me
tell you, it is exhausting. Recovery will allow the battle in my head to stop.
11) To be able to eat the damn cake (and other foods) without getting upset
I feel like this one is self-explanatory.
There are many more reasons to recover. Your reasons may be different from my reasons and that is okay. It is important to identify your reasons in case you hit a low point. A reminder is helpful sometimes!
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